Almost a year ago myself and two of my single ladies decided to do a bit of speed dating for the laugh! Two of us were not long out of two year relationships and needed to get our mojo or confidence back! We booked through an online site and to be fair it was 20euro well spent in terms of entertainment! We had no notion of going on dates with anyone but 12 guys for six minutes each was entertaining! Not all were as desperate as we had expected!
Roll on one year and I read one of the monthly emails the online company sends-A Speed Dating Table Quiz! 10 rounds, 2 girls, 2 guys per table, with the gents moving every round! Laser card out and we are booked!
We arrive late as usual and enter to dark lit room of “24-40” year olds as stated on the website! The average age and waist size was well over 40! My new dress and fake bake was well wasted here! Straight to the bar for some dutch courage and beer goggles! Plopped ourselves on a table with a nice elderly chappy with a name tag…he grunted and left…does he know what speed dating involves?
Night begins with most irritating Quiz master who smelled of damp clothes and sounded like a DJ off late night radio no one listens to! So we find a table with two lads who look under thirty! I shall name them Joe and Paul…from Swords…two mates…one is a howiya and one looks like Brian Dowling without the femininity! They are looking as pale as us with the thoughts of ten rounds with the geriatric singles! Round one done and goodbye to only guys within a decade of my own age!
The following “dates” were woeful…most men came alone so didn’t know their quiz partner and all but Joe and Paul were on the orange cordial…thou one chap did point out he was on the Rock Shandy….whoop whoop!
Then came the one round we actually won…after we heard when ya won a round the ladies got chocholate eclairs we decided to put a bit of effort in! The “tricky” question no one knew in whole room bar little old me was “What does DVD stand for?”! Our “date” was a very shy late thirties anorak from Drogheda with a queer thick Drogheda accent-he was very friendly with the mid forties frizzy haired woman (not a lady) on table 8 next to us! So Ms Frizzy pouts and asks Mr Anorak for the answer…looking cool he gives thw wrong one…and blushes! She goes scitzo when it turns out we have right answer…and for every other round she wins she does a glory dance at our table…not pretty as her BMI was not a healthy 25! So up for our prize…chocholate eclair…we are deflated to learn its not the pastry kind! Roll on 20 years and I will be like Ms Frizzy!
The night continued like this with Joe and Paul from Swords giving us the low down on caliber of the females…outside the loos…which we later found out was overheard clearly into all the “dates” in the loo! Oops another few points off our popularity!
So quiz is over and best table (Ms Frizzy) wins a bottle of wine as prize to share with her mate! So we leggit upstairs, closely followed by Joe and Paul, who have clearly picked one of us each and are getting a bit too touchy feely!
So we ditch the boys, change the name tags to Chrystal and Penelope and had mad craic with everyone arriving in soaked from “The Boss”! And in the corner of my eye I spot Ms Frizzy and Mr Anorak sneak out the door early….
For those who ok’d my gúna on Twitter…yes it was too loud and too short…but feck it! Thanks for the love!
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