At a crossroads..

Today I headed back to my job, my real job! The one I love!

Last Friday I resigned in my position as Personel Manager to over 80 staff and today I went back to work as an Optometrist, a role I love and trained so very hard for! Even on my first day back, an old dear of 73 said “You just love your job, you can really tell and its lovely to see!”. That little old dear just made sense of the last four weeks of tears and inner turmoil!

I was unhappy and stressed but was afraid to speak up! I spent so long worried about what my staff would think, what my boss would think, what my friends would think. But most importantly I was afraid of what my family would think. My parents especially! It seems so silly now as they have never put any expectations on us. We are three girls of very different talents and traits, and we were always let be ourselves and never pressurised to conform. We were always encouraged to achieve our own abilities no matter how big or small no matter what the one before had achieved! So why I felt I would disappoint them, I have no idea! So much so I drove nearly 250miles to Kerry to tell them face to face! But part of that long drive was just needing to see them, a hug and reassurence I think I deep down always knew I would get!

But in hindsight now, and its only been 2 weeks, I realise I was being silly and putting too much expectations on myself! I took a position with no training, in a large company at the age of 24, only two months before a global recession! I did the job for over 16 months and realised it wasn’t not for me! I don’t do confrontation and conflict! I am trained as a primary health care proffessional! I am trained to care! I do care and I cared too much!

The decision is made now and I feel 5 stone lighter (not actually 5 stone lighter unfortunalty!)! I am back to my own positive self and I am happy in myself again!

I want to thank my family for being there for me! Thanks to my Mom for crying with me. Thanks to my Dad for saying the right things. Thanks to Louise for letting me cry in my beer. Thanks to Jen for her “fuck them” attitude!. Thanks to Lorraine for listening and listening and listening! Thanks to my Nana for not giving out! And I know this may sound strange but thanks to my Gogs, Lord rest His soul as my Nana would say, who in the past few weeks I have felt was always there, especially as I drove along thinking too much, saying “Life’s too short a chailín!”

To all of you, I promise not to be so silly again!

Thanks for being there. Always!

My Family!


8 Responses to “At a crossroads..”

  1. 1 amy
    November 9, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    I know how you feel, I opened and closed my own shop in the space of a year and a half and was terrified to tell anyone I had cancelled my orders and got the ball rolling to get out for about 2 months. Felt silly afterwards as my family were great.

    Enjoy your new/old job 🙂

  2. 2 kala59
    November 9, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    glad my Amy is back, will always be here for you and always very proud of you my special first born, and my Dad (gogs) is right life is too short a cáilín!love you xxxx

  3. November 9, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Glad to hear things are working out for you.

  4. November 9, 2009 at 11:53 pm

    Good on you hun. Life is too short to do what doesn’t make you happy. Glad you’re all sorted now 😀 x

  5. November 10, 2009 at 11:31 am

    What a great post. Good on you for making the decision, your attitude is spot on. I recently had to have a chat with my parents about changing direction with my career and again, similar to you, I was sick with worry. Unneccessarily so! I hope you settle into your former role and it brings you great success in the future. You’re going places Ms. Long!

  6. 7 lorraine
    November 11, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    nicely written hun.. as i said before thats what family is for and hey don’t loose all of ur sillyness..xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Country bumpkin living it up in the big smoke!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 8 other followers

Flickr Photos


%d bloggers like this: