Dietery Adventure aka #psychodiet!

So it’s no secret I rabbit on about my weight, ALOT! I have always been “bigger boned” and I am still waiting for “the puppy fat to drop off”! I have been described, by family, as portly, stumpy and stout! And in primary school I was called “Fats” for years! I’m not damaged or anything, but my weight is something I have always battled with being a 5ft 2″ stump who loves to eat pasta and pizza!

At my heaviest I weighed 11stone 6lbs, something I can only admit now after losing two stone, healthily, over 8 months through weight watchers, and to some degree grief! That was two years ago now, and I have let little over a stone creep back on! A lot of weight down at 1.524m above sea level!

Healthy eating since Christmas has seen me drop 4lbs-without really trying, but with a sun holiday looming in under 3 weeks I need to shift another 4 at least to risk exposing even an ankle! So along with Dena, we are doing a weird 3 day 10lb loss diet-just for shits and giggles! I’d like to mention all the food fit into one shopping basket!

Here’s my account!

Day One: I have just weighed myself and discovered the above mentioned 4lbs weight loss! I am so excited starting out until I see how much 2 teaspoons of peanut butter on one slice of toast is! The smell alone has me ralphing! I’m not sure if the gagging is down to peanut butter in general or the 1.19Euro jar of Tesco Value peanut butter! Never has black tea (with no sugar!!!!) been so tasty! I am surviving ok until my mean work ‘friends’ get souses and rolls! I work in a very small space!
So its lunch time-Yes! Another slice of dry toast and 4oz of tuna sans mayo! So 4oz is pretty small right? Like its 1/4 of a pound and new babies are like 7-8lbs and pretty small! But my weed smoking friend demonstrates really how big 4oz is-I have been deceived! Two tins of dry tuna-Oh dear God I did not sign up for this!
Dinner is again a menagerie of queer foods-cold meat, 4oz (!) of beetroot and a lot of string beans! First time I have eaten string beans and not sure I liked or disliked them! My taste buds are in shock! Dessert (on a diet!) is an apple and 4oz, yet again, of vanilla ice-cream! What a treat! It sounds great, but once again 4oz of vanilla ice-cream is stomach churning!
An evening of drinking a lot of water and certain male twits describing what they have indulged in for the evening I go to bed dreaming of battered sausages!

Day Two: It’s my day off and I am dying to sleep in! But no, I awake to an unmerciful tummy growl and insatiable hunger at 8.20am! I hold off on the mammoth breccias of toast, boiled egg and half banana with black tea till 9.30! Quite fulfilling! Willpower tested to the max mid morning as I get an invite to my aunt’s house for homemade fajitas with all the trimmings! *grits teeth* Said invite postponed to Friday-day one of no diet! I can imagine the damage I am going to do! Sour cream, guacamole … salivating at the thought!
Lunch: Barfing as I attempt to spread 4oz of cottage cheese over 5 measly tuc crackers! I try one and I’m unsure as to whether it’s the taste or the aesthetics and texture of the cottage cheese but I am gagging! So down the hatch with the cheese with a spoon! All 4 oz-that’s half a regular tub! Gag reflex put to the test! Followed by yummy tuc crackers! As I sit here now, with my black tea I never want to eat again! I think this was what this diet does to you! Makes you hate food 😦
The next 4 hours were sheer hell! I really struggled not to have a cup of tea or a small nibble on anything! My phone is looking rather tasty at this stage! In good news my bedroom is tidy-that is how much I need to distract myself!
Dinner time at last and one of the most bizarre to date (as if I have been doing this for weeks!). Two hot dogs and not with all the trimming you get on stand outside Flannery’s of a Saturday night! So my two hot dogs (jumbo cos that’s all I could find-extra obscene) are accompanied by measly amount of broccoli and carrots! Where’s me mash!? Strangely, it’s a more fulfilling meal compared to last night!

Dessert is again the dreaded large portion of frozen cream and the rest of the banana! Goes down better tonight-even better with a bottle of Coors!
hunger kicks in again about nine! Would murder a cuppa right now and a purple snack! Too early to go to bed so I spend hour and half straightening my hair just to be doing something! You know there should be food patches like Nicotine patches to help with the fidgety cravings!

Day Three: I awake after the weirdest and rather nasty long continuous never ending dream with a dull headache. Not usual for me! I am not in work until 11am so I am semi dozing dreaming of that bowl of Special K (Not even a fry or croissants!) with dark chocolate shavings I am about to have, but remember scales is in work so will have to wait until post final weigh in! I sit up and realise its not Friday and I have another day of dietery adventure ahead!
Breakfast not too bad-5tucs, an apple and a slice of cheader. I can’t complain. Its not exactly filling but its not vomit inducing peanut butter! My mood however has plumeted. I have also just realised the scenario of having gained weight in which case I will be hacking off 10lbs of limbs Friday morning! Arrived to work and was greeted with hassle! By Lunch I am ravengous and extreemely irritable! I would murder a carb right now! Lunch isnt shaping up too bad either! Boiled egg-in the kettle-and a slice of dry toast! I am actually full! I am on the late night so dinner not until after 8pm! 6-8pm I am delrious! I smell a receipt and it actually smells tasty-no joke! The last supper is rough-another shed load of tuna and beetroot and cauliflower! I shoveled it in in no order!

Dessert once again is the gigantic portion of icecream-why did I opt for cheap tesco shite? And half an enormous melon! Fecking full time job trying to eat it! I am temporarily full! 12 hours and counting to that lush bowl of Special K and a good old cuppa! I drank an unreal amount of water today to keep hunger pangs at bay so I expect a night of piddling!

Weigh Day!
Great sleep but weird dreams again involving me staying on the dry on a night out! Woke up in a sweat!
My scales is in work-can’t eat till post weigh in so I rush to work! Coat off, scarf off, watch off, shoes off, almost everything off! I am 4lbs lighter! Whoop OK so its not the promised 10lb, but I guess I wasn’t obese to start with! Its a very good start though and it didn’t kill me to eat the above diet for three days and I could do it again as a kick start to a normal diet plan!

So ya it was a bit extreme and I know its not a healthy way to lose long term weight! But 4lb shifted before my hols is 4lb less than I put on! Also, today I cut out all snacks as normal healthy food seemed so filling. And most important progress I now tolerate tea with no sugar! A massive saving of calories to me!

Thanks to all who listened to the moaning on Twitter! No food tweets for a LONG time!

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